26 days

Well today was one of those days where I needed to keep myself busy. I didn't have to work or go to class so I did a lot of running around. Paying bills, shopping that sort of stuff. If I don't and I just sit around I get really lonely. =[ I miss Steve so much and sitting around by myself makes me think about how much I miss him even more! So I try to avoid this. The first week he was gone I skipped all my classes and literally just laid in bed all day. Not even watching tv most of the time, just laying there. That wasn't good for me at all and I know Steve would have hated it if he knew at the time. So I don't let myself do that anymore! I can't just stop doing everything in my life because the man I love isn't around. So I keep my self busy and living normally. That came out a little more dramatic than I intended it to... Its not like I'm supper depressed, things just are not the same without him. I can't wait till he gets out of Tech school and I can move with him! At first we weren't sure if I was going to or if I was gonna finish college first. After him being gone for a month theres no question about it. I can't spend another year living in a different state from him. I need him to much and I miss him too much. As far as I know he feels the same. At first he wanted me to finish school first. As it got closer to him leaving he was leaning more and more towards me moving after school. Which is good, things are always a lot easier when we agree on stuff. Im getting a little nervous for school to start up again. I did really bad last semester and I need to turn it around this semester. I just hope Steve not being here doesn't distract me too much. I hope not because no matter how much I think about it I can't do anything about it... So we will see how it goes. Oh and I booked my hotel for graduation! I'm excited about this, it means graduation is getting closer and closer! I swear I get butterflies thinking about it. Its funny to think of my husband whom I have been with for almost 4 years is giving me butterflies. I haven't been nervous with him in a long time. I guess its just the anticipation of not having seen him for 2 months. I almost wish none of our family was going to graduation so I could have him to myself for the whole weekend! But I can't be that selfish even if it want to be. =]